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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25933933">Never Giving Up</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivyleaguenerd/pseuds/ivyleaguenerd'>ivyleaguenerd</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Men's Hockey RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Auston is there to the rescue, Freddie is sad, Hymen and Kapanen are ignorant, JT is briefly mentioned, M/M, Playoffs 2020, Quarantine Bubble Hotel Mentioned, Toronto Maple Leafs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:27:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25933933</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivyleaguenerd/pseuds/ivyleaguenerd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Freddie has one too many goals go into net during game, and he suffers the shame of the loss singlehandedly in the locker rooms. Auston can’t help but be worried, until he really knows he has to do something for Freddie. </p>
<p>Based off of Never Giving Up by Of Mice and Men. </p>
<p>I guess you could say that hockey being back has inspired me.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Auston Matthews/Frederik Andersen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Never Giving Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Slumped at his locker was a beautiful ginger haired man, his head in his scuffed up hands and curls of hair twisting about like drapes through the cracks of his fingers. The goaltender hadn’t moved in well over five minutes, and that alone was a long time for anyone to really sit entirely still. Especially when you were typically as forgiving and sweet in nature as Freddie was. </p>
<p>Auston was cubed up in his locker, across the room from the tendie. It was a simple task he had, to wait until Freddie showed signs of being okay. Not that anyone else was as invested in his emotional wellbeing as he personally was, but he found it weird how everyone could gaze past the elephant of shame in the room. Talking to one another, chatting up plans and laughing over stupid memes as if the literal backbone of their team hadn’t been actively avoiding socially contributing in well over seven minutes now. It frustrated him in a respect that was well beyond suitable to put into words, regardless of language. </p>
<p>The shoulders of the silent man seemed to start shaking, as in rhythm with one another. Now something was clearly wrong, those were crying shoulders. For a man to cry, was a desperate plea for help. For a man to cry in public, or in a more public setting was a wailing screech for help. For Freddie of all people to genuinely begin to visibly shake with silent sobs in a public setting was like fire engine sirens and flashing lights. </p>
<p>Auston decided he wasn’t going to watch anymore. It wasn’t right to Freddie. To suffer in seclusion, and to have to hear the rest of his team that he cared for so deeply just move along from a loss like that, right around his bubble of shame. It was disgusting to have to think about, the extra salt being dumped into the gushing wound that Freddie must have felt by his own teammates. </p>
<p>As soon as he had felt the lid bust off the kettle, his patience poured out and he popped himself up from his locker, shoving past Kapanen and Hymen towards Freddie. The flare of the shove was to emphasize the disappointment that he felt towards his own mates. The two bare a confused look, before stepping over to their own lockers and grabbing their bags as routine to head out. Being that the two felt secure in leaving as something like this occurred made Auston tempted to punch a hole in the nearest sheetrock wall. </p>
<p>Kneeling down was the easiest way to get anything from Freddie’s face, so Auston leaned down in front of his lap and he gently placed his right hand on Freddie’s knee before him. Rubbing small circles and weird squiggles of assurance into the distraught man’s knee was the safest way to enter the emotional stance of the tendie. If he wasn’t wanted, Freddie would simply push his hand off. If Freddie wanted him there, he’d drop his hands or reach out to hold them. </p>
<p>“That wasn’t your fault, okay?” Matthews spoke softly, barely above a whisper. He didn’t need anyone else who was lingering around to interfere, or bother him right now. The best way to prevent that was to avoid drawing attention by making this a very quiet interaction. </p>
<p>Freddie shook his head and he used his hands to pull his hair back, tying it off so slightly out of the way. The stupid tie was so tight on his wrist that it left a little indented mark, but Auston gave it to him, so he used it to his disclosure and pleasure. His face was often a beautiful sunrise pale pink, and his cheeks currently were red like rose petals. His eyes were swollen like balloons of their own, and he looked so drained. His eyes showed nothing more than shame, and nothing less than exhaustion. </p>
<p>“You can’t put the lack of action of the defensemen on your shoulders.” Auston continued, and he reached for one of Freddie’s hands to slide it into his own, then the other. </p>
<p>Freddie bit his lip for a moment, and he shook a little as he racked another round of sobs out. Auston quickly hopped up to sit beside him, just wrapping his arms around Freddie to embrace him. The least he could do was allow for Freddie to have a safe space, a comfortable shoulder and warm body to cry into. He deserved that. Whatever level of comfort that Auston could personally offer to the male was what he would give, until his eyes were dried and his lips formed a smile. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to take credit for their shit. They’ll get their asses kicked tomorrow. If not by me, by J.T or Mitch.” Auston rubbed his back with one of his hands, gentle little circles and he heard a bit of a chuckle from inside their space. A shake from a laugh, not from a sob. He was getting somewhere. </p>
<p>“You’re my favorite smile to see. You’re my favorite number to see. You’re the only goaltender I want on my ice, and there can never be another you. Okay, Freddie? I don’t want another you, honestly. I just know that you’re.. you, and I’m not giving up on you. It was a bad game. It happens, but it won’t happen next time. That doesn’t mean you’re working harder, it means our defense can get their asses in gear and help a little more and own their shortcomings, is all. No one is giving up on you. No one here blames you, so please don’t blame yourself. Okay, Freds?” Auston rambled a little longer than he intended to speak, but he felt the way that Freddie’s body had changed and moved in reaction to the words. The more he spoke, the looser his shoulders got and the more even his breathing had become. </p>
<p>“Okay.” Freddie mumbled out so softly, it barely sounded like that had been what he said. He looked up from their little hug, and he looked Auston in the eyes for a few moments. He smiled, and his smile eventually got bright to show off his teeth. Then Auston blinked, and lost the unintentional staring contest and Freddie burst out into chuckles. </p>
<p>“Do you wanna ride with me, today? Just back to the bubble, of course.” Auston offered, and he flashed a half smile of hope at Freddie. He let his hand just go back to rubbing small circles on his mid-thigh, just because. It was reassuring, it was comforting, it felt nice to be touched or shown attention during such a mentally straining mess known as the 2020 Playoffs. </p>
<p>“Please, an-and thank you, of course.” Freddie said sweetly, that delectable kind and warm tone coming from his bright lips again. The same tone of voice he often heard when Freddie was encouraging other players, or caring for others. It was that respectful tone, with passion and genuine realistic honesty. </p>
<p>“Oh of course, no problem at all, Freds.” Matthews smirked at Freddie, and he whipped his phone out to open to messages. “Can you, since you’re all packed up, can you tell coach or someone on the bus that we’re gonna just kindly take a little walk back or something? Make something up? I dunno, I don’t typically like to make a lie up but I mean, I think we deserve this privacy.” Requested the slightly shambled Auston, as he walked back over to his locker across the room to start packing his gear back into the bag. He wanted it all washed and he wanted his clothes on his body washed and everything washed. The bag itself might as well go into the machine, considering how badly it reeked of literal garbage. </p>
<p>“Oh, yeah, I got a good one.” Freddie told the coach that Auston was pooping really badly and super sorry but he would take an uber back to the bubble hotel and that he would shower once he got back to avoid spreading his stink or germs. Which was really hilarious for Freddie to have accomplished, and he guaranteed the boys back at the bubble would enjoy it. Freddie then held it out to Auston, just returning it with the screen off so that Auston would see it in his own time or understand what he sent when the coach sent his reply. </p>
<p>“Thank you so very much, what a kind gentleman you are.” Auston took the phone back and slid it into the pocket of his sweatpants, finding it easy to manage if the important stuff was closest to grab. </p>
<p>“No problem.” Said Freddie with a smile, and he grabbed his bags, hauling them over the shoulders as to evenly divide the weight. He pulled his hood up over his hat, and he adjusted the strings on the hood so they were at the same level. Goalies were so weird, and this was another weird little quirk of Freddie’s that absolutely never bothered anyone whatsoever. </p>
<p>“What do you wanna eat tonight? Any restaurants in mind, or just the order thing from the in-hotel?” Auston asked, as he lead the way out of the locker rooms for the two of them. He held the doors open for Andersen of course, because that was just what you did for someone you respected. </p>
<p>“Maybe we can get some italian food, like pasta in some sorta creamy sauce... I mean, if that’s okay with you.” Freddie was quick to make sure that Auston was being taken care of by his suggestion as well. Sometimes they didn’t want the same thing, but he knew that Auston offered the choice to him tonight as a way to make up for how his own day had went. </p>
<p>“That sounds perfect, vodka or alfredo?” Auston had taken his phone out again and went through the email to find the menu of the in-hotel food services they had been receiving. He scrolled until he found the dinner section, and he clicked on pasta until he found the options he’d just suggested to Freddie. </p>
<p>“Can we actually order vodka to the room but also the penne ala vodka sauce for the pasta?” Freddie asked with a bit of a giggle. He was only kidding, but he figured it was worth asking. </p>
<p>“We are not drinking tonight. There will not be a taking the edge off sort of drink tonight, got it? We are ordering a big dish of penne ala vodka, though. That of which.. you can enjoy as much as you’d like. I just placed the order.” Auston clarified and he shut the phone off once again, sliding it into his pocket. </p>
<p>“Oh I’m actually so excited for-“ Freddie was cut off by the sudden ping and double buzz of Auston’s phone. That meant it was coach, texting him. He bit his bottom lip and eagerly traced just a tad behind Auston as he awaited the reaction. </p>
<p>Auston read the message Freddie wrote for him under his breath and gasped. </p>
<p>“I took a huge poopy? What am I five, oh my gosh, Freds!” Auston read it aloud with a bit of a laugh, and he laughed out Freddie’s nickname he’d gifted him. </p>
<p>“Yeah, you know, some people need extra time to recover from stuff like that!” Freddie defended, with a slight chuckle hidden in his tone. His smile was bright though, and just as beautiful as Auston preferred it to stay. </p>
<p>“Coach said that he hopes I didn’t fall in or hurt myself trying to get it out, and that he’ll see us in the hotel tonight, woooow!” Auston read and he shook his head in pure amazement. “You are absolutely something else, unique entirely and I do not want you to change for the world.” He smiled at Freddie, and Freddie held a thumbs up as he continued his laughter. </p>
<p>On that same note, they continued their delightful moment on the bench together as they waited on their uber.</p>
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